Jan 21

Meeting on a Plane.

Meeting on a Plane.


Meeting- on- a- Plane

A salesman for a new firm had had a very bad week. Endless meetings in a half dozen cities, no sales. He was bummed and just wanted to relax on his flight home from Kansas City. Luckily, it looked like he had all three seats to himself in his row and he gratefully closed his eyes awaiting take off.

At the last minute, another passenger plopped down beside him. “Great, just great” he thought to himself. But then he opened his eyes and looked to see an absolutely gorgeous woman, blonde, green eyes, maybe 5 foot 4 inch, nicely built, well groomed and well dressed. Hmm, he thought, maybe my luck is going to change. She also still had a nametag on from something. So he turned to her and said “Hi, Masra. Are you traveling alone?”

She laughed and said “Oh, that’s not my name. I was the keynote speaker at a convention today and forgot to take the silly thing off. It stands for Midwest American Sexual Response Association.”

“Keynote, huh? That sounds fascinating. What was your address on?”

“Well, I’m a licensed sex therapist and have been doing research on the ability of the American male to please women.

I’ve discovered that the American male, contrary to many people’s uninformed opinions, is actually quite a good lover. However, there are three groups of Americans that really stand out from the crowd as the best of all.

One group are the Jewish men because they seem to be able to really communicate with women on a sexual level. Another is the Native American, basically because as a group they are so well built ‘that way.’ The third are the men from down South because of their extraordinary ability to keep it up a long time.

And by the way, my name’s Wanda. What’s yours?”

“Hi Wanda. I’m Tonto Weisenberg, but all my friends back home just call me Bubba.”

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Jan 21

30 Harsh Things a Woman Can Say to a Naked Man.

30 Harsh Things a Woman Can Say to a Naked Man.

30 -Harsh- Things- a- Woman- Can -Say- to- a -Naked-Man

  1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.

  2. Ahhhh, it’s cute.
  3. Why don’t we just cuddle?
  4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
  5. Make it dance.
  6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
  7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
  8. It’s OK, we’ll work around it.
  9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
  10. Oh no… a flash headache
  11. (giggle and point)
  12. Can I be honest with you?
  13. How sweet, you brought incense.
  14. This explains your car.
  15. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
  16. Why is God punishing me?
  17. At least this won’t take long.
  18. I never saw one like that before.
  19. But it still works, right?
  20. It looks so unused.
  21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
  22. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
  23. Are you cold?
  24. If you get me real drunk first.
  25. Is that an optical illusion?
  26. What is that?
  27. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
  28. Does it come with an air pump?
  29. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
  30. I guess this makes me the early bird.

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